Ahh, the joys of living in a city perpetually overrun by tourist. It’s the price I pay for getting to live in an amazing city like DC.

I immediately fell in love with these Pedestrian Penalty Cards after reading an article with the various cards displayed. Each offense is given a number of severity, conceivably with the punishment being equally as severe as the crime. Those that live in a popular city can attest to the fact that all of the listed infractions occur multiple times a day, seven days a week.

If anyone has seen those bumper stickers you can graciously gift that say, “I park like an idiot” you know that these cards serve a similar purpose. As much as I would be a jerk if I handed these out, it would be a fun experiment in human behavior (possibly a lesson in adult language as well).

My biggest annoyance from the list is toward those who don’t recognize the universal norm of standing on the right, walking on the left. I can attest that, here in DC at least, the metro cards that the tourists buy specifically say to stand on the RIGHT. Either there are an abundance of dyslexic people in this world or we all suck at reading directions. I have a suspicion it’s the latter. It wouldn’t even be as bad that people lounge all over the escalators if they moved over after noticing the row of people standing behind them, angrily staring a hole through their back for blocking the left side. But no, they use this means of transport to catch up on sleep, a missed text or to make out with their significant other. Really, people? Save it for a moment when you’re not directly holding up traffic.

Anyway, back to being mildly indifferent while commuting and/or walking down the street, since these behaviors are clearly not remediable.

Not related – I learned a new word today: Hexanitrohexaazaisowurtzitane. It’s a real word, I promise. It’s science-y and complicated but go read about it anyway. Learning is fun!